Well that went well…

On 12/4 we had our first appointment at our fertility specialist. We were supposed to have our first appointment on 11/25 but my dumb ass thought it was set for 1:30pm and we arrived at 1:20pm only to find out we were late and would have to reschedule. Luckily we only had to schedule one week out and were able to get in on 12/4. BUT, that was all a long way of saying, just getting to our first appointment was a hassle.

Once we got to the office, the receptionist tells me she doesn’t have the appointment in her computer. She said it only showed my one from 11/25. Luckily this didn’t cause us any issues but it just didn’t set a great tone for the afternoon.

After a few minutes in the waiting room the doctor calls us back and we start to go through what feels like his 20th questionnaire of the day about our fertility struggles. Apparently (another bit of our *great* luck) my medical records weren’t in their system yet (I called my regular OBGYN after the appointment and they said they sent them on 11/25 so who knows whose fault it is). But, since he didn’t have my records he was asking us everything (how many miscarriages, when were they, how far along did the baby develop, did I get an ultrasound, what did they see on the ultrasound, did I hear a heartbeat, etc.). Honestly, these were hard questions. I felt so gutted that between the three miscarriages this year, Rob and I were getting all the details mixed up a bit. Such a shit problem to have – I’ve had so many miscarriages I can’t keep the stories straight. I just felt terrible. The doctor really seemed like he does this all the time and was pretty loose and happy. I mean, as Rob said later, he’d have rather him be happy and positive than sad and worried during our consultation. I guess I just also kinda wished he was a little more sensitive or compassionate. Either way – his bedside manner wasn’t really that bad. It didn’t cause me any concern alone it just wasn’t necessarily a “win” for the doctor’s office column either.

But, as a result of our chat with him, he gave us a few options and next steps. Our next steps were to do bloodwork, genetic testing, an ultrasound and an HSG test. He said that usually the tests come back negative and, if that’s the case, then I have 3 options:

  1. Take progesterone and baby aspirin to try and help the next pregnancy stick
  2. Take hormone boosting drugs (like Colmid) to try and improve the odds of getting pregnant (even tho that part seems easy for us) and also the Progesterone I think
  3. IVF

Personally, this wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for but was kinda what I expected. I was hoping they’d have more options between 1 and 3 for me to try. Since I took progesterone last pregnancy, option 1 I’ve already really done (minus baby aspirin) and he said if we did it again we’d have about a 50% chance at having another miscarriage. IVF would give us an 11% chance at another miscarriage but is really expensive and invasive. At least he laid out options so there’s that but luckily we don’t have to decide anything right away. To finish up this appointment – next up was the ultrasound and bloodwork.

First problem: for the urine sample/collection they wanted to do, they didn’t have the right equipment in the office (another strike). They took my sample but said I might have to come leave another (annoying). But still, not a big deal, just looks kinda not put together at this point. Then, for the ultrasound everything was normal. They looked at all my internal lady parts – no probs there so that’s good. Painless.

Second problem: the blood draw. For me, my blood draws 99% of the time have to come from my hands and, with my luck, the office receptionist/phlebotomist/OB-GYN assistant can’t draw from hands. She checks my arm, can’t find a vein, and then does Rob’s draw while we wait on another lady to come try and do mine. Rob’s draw goes easy peasy and then the other lady arrives to do mine. She stuck both hands and couldn’t get either one and then the first lady tried my arm and couldn’t get it. Soooooo… They decided to send us to their main office where they have a phlebotomist that can draw my blood. They tried to call the office and tell them we were coming but no one was answering so they just sent us there. At this point I’m annoyed but we’re still joking around so I’m not that bothered. Plus the main office was kinda on the way home so whatever – annoying but still, at this point I wasn’t ticked off.

When we get to the next office and head upstairs to the floor the doctor is on, all we see is major construction behind their doors. The lobby is all torn up with drywall and tools everywhere. There is a sign by the door that says its under construction and appointments are available at their locations 3 locations (this one included).

Right when I saw the construction it all clicked. They didn’t answer when the other receptionist called I assumed because they were CLOSED. ☠ This then immediately reminded me of when I originally came to their main office location on 11/25. When I had to reschedule they wouldn’t let me choose the main office location because it was going to be under construction. I was so mad. Rob and I left and went back to the car. Rob said we could go back and look around one more time to be sure they were closed and I said to not bother. I thought it was definitely closed and we should just go home. I tried to call the office from the car but they’re one of the fancy offices where you just leave a message and only get a call back so we decided to leave. 🙈

When we left I was annoyed and irritated and pissed off. I wanted more from this appointment. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. Everything was going wrong and now I was going to have to wait longer for more answers. I wanted to do my damn test today. And to top it off, I needed to get back to work. It was already almost 3pm and I was hoping to have been home by then. It was all going really great.

As we were driving home I rationalized my way into their 3rd office being semi on the way home so we decided to dig ourselves an even deeper hole and stop there. What else could go wrong? As we pull up at that office someone from the practice finally calls me back. The lady says that they had in fact actually been in their main office location. Apparently when we saw their front doors we should have turned left down a hallway and then seen another sign on the right to check in there. If only that had, I don’t know, maybe been written somewhere. Like maybe on the sign by the door?! I was pissed. It was ridiculous that they didn’t have any signs up to say where to check in. Plus, how stupid that I didn’t go triple check or something. I was annoyed but whatever – we were at the third office now. We got off the phone and parked. Once out of the car my phone starts ringing again. It was the office again. Apparently the third office we were at wasn’t equipped to do the blood draw I needed either. We drove all the way here for nothing.

At this point I was done. How ridiculous was this shit show of a “specialist” appointment?! Their satellite offices couldn’t care for me on a simple NEW PATIENT INTAKE appointment. I felt stupid for not triple checking the signs at the main office but also super irritated because I did check the first time we were standing right there. The signs obviously sucked. Rob and I both missed how/where they could have been open.

I definitely expressed my frustration to the lady I was on the phone with. I told her that the whole day had been a shit show and that I was beyond irritated. I felt bad, in hindsight, that I was so irritated while on the phone with her (I didn’t yell at her but definitely cussed a lot while expressing how ridiculous every aspect of the day was). She told me “it wasn’t her fault” and that I “shouldn’t take my anger out on her” so we just agreed to set me up an appointment for a blood draw in two days (on Friday) at their main office and part ways.

The whole ride home was lots of traffic and road rage in our car. Rob and I were both in good moods. The rest of my day was shit too. I cried a lot about how terrible the day was and about how unsupportive the doctor was. I cried about how this specialist was supposed to help me and instead stressed me out even more. I cried because this was supposed to be the most recommended practice in our area and I was getting such shit service. It was just a rough day. I wanted more from this specialist. I wanted to feel supported and helped. I wanted this all to be over and every, single, part of it, just felt worse.

At the end of all of that, I debated on finding a whole new doctor since I received such terrible service. Once I was able to cool down I decided I’d give them another shot and do my blood draw that Friday and see how things went. This was supposed to be the best doctor in the area and I really wanted them to help us.

Now, fast forward a week, I did my blood draw on Friday and my genetic tests are processing. They 100% redid the signs at the main office (that’s under construction) to be more clear/obvious and have also made sure that both of their satellite offices are fully stocked to do the tests I needed to have done but couldn’t. Hopefully no one else has the experience I did! Rob’s blood draw that they did didn’t work for some reason (or wasn’t enough blood or something – the lady on the phone didn’t really explain) but she said once my results come back, and if I’m a carrier of anything, then we can decide if we want to redo Rob’s test or not. I guess if I’m not a carrier of anything then it doesn’t really matter what he is bringing to the table. I’m not sure how genetics work but that’s how she explained it.

All of this is a long way of saying that it’s been a roller coaster of a ride so far and it just started. Next test is the HSG test and then we’ll just wait on all the results before deciding what to do next. Fingers crossed we find some answers and this part of our lives can be behind us soon!